Welcome to Infinitiaty:
Infinitely Spiritual

When faced with a medical problem that includes a complex, error-prone diagnosis and a risky treatment, deciding to get a second opinion is a wise choice. If that's true for medicine, why not religion? What could be more complex and error-prone a diagnosis than a God's judgment on your soul?

Don't you deserve a second opinion? Of course you do! Nonetheless, most religions scorn that second opinion. They tell you, "we have the Word of God! Only the Word in our possession is the word of the one true God. All others are false and you shall be judged by our God and only our God."

Is it fair that your opportunity for eternal bliss should rest on the judgment of only one God? No it's not!

Fortunately, that's not the way it is. Infinitians know that the God Who created us, God One, is not the only God. In fact, there are an infinite number of Gods. Thus, we give you an infinity of Gods to honor, pray to and beg for forgiveness. And, of course, you will gain an infinity of godly opinions to plague you.

The heathen will tell you, "An infinity of Gods? Poppycock! That's impossible." Not only is it possible, but it must be so. Nothing can be created without a cause for its creation. We were created by a God, thus there must have been a God, God Two, to cause our God, God One, to exist. And there must have been a God, God Three, to create God Two; and a God, God Four, to create God Three; and a God, God Five, to create God Four ... and on into the heavenly infinite regress. Thus, not only can there be an infinite number of Gods, but there must be.

In these pages you'll find out more about Infinitiaty and why it is infinitely better than all of the other religions. We also sell cool stuff in our store. What could be better?

Show the world your infinitely devout faith. Visit our store to see all of the inspiring designs.

Ask Not What Your Church Can Do For You ...

Many religions ask a lot of their parishioners. Unquestioning belief. Unstinting dedication to the church. Volunteer work. Cash tithes.

Not Infinitiaty. We don't ask a lot of our believers. We demand everything of them. There is never enough time, money or resources to please and appease an infinity of Gods. So, when you join Infinitiaty your days will be filled with dread over the possibility that you will undoubtedly have done something to upset one God or another through an error of omission, an error of commission or, more likely, both. Hence, you will never have time to worry about anything else ever again. Experience the bliss.

Take a look around. Kick the pews. And let us know, what do we have to do to put you into a new religion — Infinitiaty — today?

And don't forget to ask about buying salvation on an installment plan. You pay a low down payment equal to the equivalent of three years' worth of your income. Thereafter, you need make only low monthly payments that shouldn't be excessively painful as long as you have great fortitude*.

For example, have you read:

End Times

Christians have one thing right. The human species' future will come to an abrupt end in End Times. Christians might have correctly predicted, probably totally by fluke, that there will be an End Times, but they got the nature of the coming End Times all wrong. The End Times will be much more fun than Christians believe, but no less devastating.

Learn more about these End Times. You can't prepare yourself for them or prevent your destruction should you still be alive then, but you might decide that it makes sense to start drinking more now rather than face oblivion sober.

Click here to read more.

Recently added to the Church of Infinitiaty Web site:
Date Added Title Description
Jan. 8, 2015 The Inquisition Click here to read about the fifteenth century Infinitian game show, The Inquisition.
Dec. 31, 2014 The Reformation Click here to learn about the Infinitian Reformation and Protestant movement.
Dec. 27, 2014 Sins of the Flesh indulgences The Church released a price list for some of the indulgences that can be purchased to receive absolution for sins of the flesh. Click here to view the list. Contact your local Infinitian church to get a quote on a sin of the flesh indulgence not listed here. If you are not familiar with the concept of indulgences you should click here to read about them.
Dec. 26, 2014 Franchise Application Do you want to buy a Church of Infinitiaty franchise? Of course you do. Who wouldn't? Not everybody qualifies. You can now submit your application online and receive an immediate result by clicking here. Note: You should first read up about our franchising opportunities. You can find info by clicking here. Don't worry, there's now also a link to the application form on the franchising information page.
Nov. 25, 2014 Book of Heaven At long last, the Infinitian Book of Heaven has been translated and published, finally proving the existence of God One's Heaven. Click here to read a commentary on the Book and go on to read the Book itself.
Dec. 7, 2012 God's Great Plan Ever wonder why shit happens? It's all part of God One's Great Plan. But, there is a way to get it working for you.Click here to check it out.
Nov. 28, 2012 Women Women today are more equal in Infinitiaty than in any of the faux religions, but it wasn't always so. Click here to read more.
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* Some conditions apply. Failure to honor your lifelong contract will result in penalties that include, at a minimum, eternal damnation and hellfire. Offer void where prohibited by law unless there's no chance of us getting caught.

Show the world your infinitely devout faith. Visit our store to see all of the inspiring designs.

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© Copyright Klebanoff Associates, Inc., 2009 - 2015. Infinitiaty and Infinitian are trademarks of Klebanoff Associates, Inc.

In the unlikely event that you have any time available after praying and paying in the Church of Infinitiaty, you might enjoy a visit to Shalampax. Or not. It's really hard to say for certain.

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