Infinitiaty

Welcome to Infinitiaty:
Infinitely Spiritual

When faced with a medical problem that includes a complex, error-prone diagnosis and a risky treatment, deciding to get a second opinion is a wise choice. If that's true for medicine, why not religion? What could be more complex and error-prone a diagnosis than a God's judgment on your soul?

Don't you deserve a second opinion? Of course you do! Nonetheless, most religions scorn that second opinion. They tell you, "we have the Word of God! Only the Word in our possession is the word of the one true God. All others are false and you shall be judged by our God and only our God."

Is it fair that your opportunity for eternal bliss should rest on the judgment of only one God? No it's not!

Fortunately, that's not the way it is. Infinitians know that the God Who created us, God One, is not the only God. In fact, there are an infinite number of Gods. Thus, we give you an infinity of Gods to honor, pray to and beg for forgiveness. And, of course, you will gain an infinity of godly opinions to plague you.

The heathen will tell you, "An infinity of Gods? Poppycock! That's impossible." Not only is it possible, but it must be so. Nothing can be created without a cause for its creation. We were created by a God, thus there must have been a God, God Two, to cause our God, God One, to exist. And there must have been a God, God Three, to create God Two; and a God, God Four, to create God Three; and a God, God Five, to create God Four ... and on into the heavenly infinite regress. Thus, not only can there be an infinite number of Gods, but there must be.

In these pages you'll find out more about Infinitiaty and why it is infinitely better than all of the other religions. We also sell cool stuff in our store. What could be better?

Show the world your infinitely devout faith. Visit our store to see all of the inspiring designs.

Ask Not What Your Church Can Do For You ...

Many religions ask a lot of their parishioners. Unquestioning belief. Unstinting dedication to the church. Volunteer work. Cash tithes.

Not Infinitiaty. We don't ask a lot of our believers. We demand everything of them. There is never enough time, money or resources to please and appease an infinity of Gods. So, when you join Infinitiaty your days will be filled with dread over the possibility that you will undoubtedly have done something to upset one God or another through an error of omission, an error of commission or, more likely, both. Hence, you will never have time to worry about anything else ever again. Experience the bliss.

Take a look around. Kick the pews. And let us know, what do we have to do to put you into a new religion — Infinitiaty — today?

And don't forget to ask about buying salvation on an installment plan. You pay a low down payment equal to the equivalent of three years' worth of your income. Thereafter, you need make only low monthly payments that shouldn't be excessively painful as long as you have great fortitude*.

For example, have you read:

Proofs of Infinitiaty
  Lots of religions expect you to take them on faith. How big a fool do they take you for? Not Infinitiaty. We offer proofs that we are the one true religion.
Click here to read more.



Recently added to the Church of Infinitiaty Web site:
Date Added Title Description
Dec. 7, 2012 God's Great Plan Ever wonder why shit happens? It's all part of God One's Great Plan. But, there is a way to get it working for you.Click here to check it out.
Nov. 28, 2012 Women Women today are more equal in Infinitiaty than in any of the faux religions, but it wasn't always so. Click here to read more.
Sept. 3, 2012 Renaissance Popular misconceptions notwithstanding, Infinitian artists led the Renaissance. Click here to read more.
Sept. 1, 2012 Matthew Muhndayne Learn about the life and times of a good, but not great Infinitian, Matthew Muhndayne. Click hear to read the saga.
Aug. 30, 2012 The First Infinitians In this, the inaugural entry in a new History section of our Web site, learn about the origins of Infinitiaty. Click here to read about the first Infinitians.
Aug. 28, 2012 The Seven Seals Learn how the breaking of the seven seals will signal the beginning of the final phase of the End Times. Click here to read about it.
Aug. 26, 2012 Solar System Creation Learn how God One went about creating life and our solar systems, but not in that order, possibly using the same processes as He used to create other solar systems. Click here to read about it.

 
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* Some conditions apply. Failure to honor your lifelong contract will result in penalties that include, at a minimum, eternal damnation and hellfire. Offer void where prohibited by law unless there's no chance of us getting caught.

 
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© Copyright Klebanoff Associates, Inc., 2009 - 2014. Infinitiaty and Infinitian are trademarks of Klebanoff Associates, Inc.

In the unlikely event that you have any time available after praying and paying in the Church of Infinitiaty, you might enjoy a visit to Shalampax. Or not. It's really hard to say for certain.

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