site map

Welcome to the Church of Infinitiaty

Infinitely Spiritual

When faced with a medical problem that includes a complex, error-prone diagnosis and a risky treatment, deciding to get a second opinion is a wise choice. If that’s true for medicine, why not religion? Shouldn’t your church offer the same option? What could be more complex and error-prone a diagnosis than a God’s judgment on your soul? Don’t you deserve a second opinion? Of course you do!

Nevertheless, most religions scorn that second opinion. They tell you, “we have the Word of God! Only the Word in our possession is the word of the one true God. All others are false and you shall be judged by our God and only our God.”

Some, possibly most, Gods have Siblings.

Church of Infinitiaty. An infinite number of gods, and then some.

Is it fair that your opportunity for eternal bliss should rest on the judgment of only one God? No it’s not! Fortunately, that’s not the way it is. Infinitians know that the God Who created us, God One, is not the only God. In fact, there are an infinite number of Gods. Thus, we give you an infinity of Gods to honor, pray to and beg for forgiveness. And, of course, you will gain an infinity of godly opinions to plague you.

The heathen will tell you, “An infinity of Gods? Poppycock! That’s impossible.” Not only is it possible, but it must be so. Nothing can be created without a cause for its creation.

We were created by a God, thus there must have been a God, God Two, to cause our God, God One, to exist. And there must have been a God, God Three, to create God Two; and a God, God Four, to create God Three; and a God, God Five, to create God Four … and on into the heavenly infinite regress.

Thus, not only can there be an infinite number of Gods, but there must be. In these pages you’ll find out more about Infinitiaty and why it is infinitely better than all of the other religions. We also sell cool stuff in our store. What could be better?

Remember to say The Lords’ Prayer continuously throughout your waking day. Dreaming it repetitively would also be helpful. There are an infinite number of Gods. They can’t all listen to you all of the time.

Ask Not What Your Church Can Do For You …

The Church of Infinitiaty

The Church of Infinitiaty

Many religions ask a lot of their parishioners. Unquestioning belief. Unstinting dedication to the church. Volunteer work. Cash tithes. Not Infinitiaty. We don’t ask a lot of our believers. We demand everything of them.

There is never enough time, money or resources to please and appease an infinity of Gods. So, when you join Infinitiaty your days will be filled with dread over the possibility that you will undoubtedly have done something to upset one God or another through an error of omission, an error of commission or, more likely, both. Hence, you will never have time to worry about anything else ever again.

Experience the bliss. Take a look around. Kick the pews. And let us know, what do we have to do to put you into a new religion — Infinitiaty — today? And don’t forget to ask about buying salvation on an installment plan. You pay a low down payment equal to the equivalent of three years’ worth of your income. Thereafter, you need make only low monthly payments that shouldn’t be excessively painful as long as you have great fortitude*.

Church Franchises

Even if you decide not to become a member of the flock, you may still be eligible to become a church franchisee. We don’t discriminate against nonbelievers, provided they have sufficient funds. Click here for more information.

* Some conditions apply. Failure to honor your lifelong contract will result in penalties that include, at a minimum, eternal damnation and hellfire. Offer void where prohibited by law unless there’s no chance of us getting caught.