Welcome to Infinitiaty:
When faced with a medical problem that includes a complex, error-prone diagnosis and a risky treatment, deciding to get a second opinion is a wise choice. If that's true for medicine, why not religion? What could be more complex and error-prone a diagnosis than a God's judgment on your soul?
Don't you deserve a second opinion? Of course you do! Nonetheless, most religions scorn that second opinion. They tell you, "we have the Word of God! Only the Word in our possession is the word of the one true God. All others are false and you shall be judged by our God and only our God."
Is it fair that your opportunity for eternal bliss should rest on the judgment of only one God? No it's not!
Fortunately, that's not the way it is. Infinitians know that the God Who created us, God One, is not the only God. In fact, there are an infinite number of Gods. Thus, we give you an infinity of Gods to honor, pray to and beg for forgiveness. And, of course, you will gain an infinity of godly opinions to plague you.
The heathen will tell you, "An infinity of Gods? Poppycock! That's impossible." Not only is it possible, but it must be so. Nothing can be created without a cause for its creation. We were created by a God, thus there must have been a God, God Two, to cause our God, God One, to exist. And there must have been a God, God Three, to create God Two; and a God, God Four, to create God Three; and a God, God Five, to create God Four ... and on into the heavenly infinite regress. Thus, not only can there be an infinite number of Gods, but there must be.
In these pages you'll find out more about Infinitiaty and why it is infinitely better than all of the other religions. We also sell cool stuff in our store. What could be better?
Show the world your infinitely devout faith. Visit our store to see all of the inspiring designs.
Ask Not What Your Church Can Do For You ...
Many religions ask a lot of their parishioners. Unquestioning belief. Unstinting dedication to the church. Volunteer work. Cash tithes.
Not Infinitiaty. We don't ask a lot of our believers. We demand everything of them. There is never enough time, money or resources to please and appease an infinity of Gods. So, when you join Infinitiaty your days will be filled with dread over the possibility that you will undoubtedly have done something to upset one God or another through an error of omission, an error of commission or, more likely, both. Hence, you will never have time to worry about anything else ever again. Experience the bliss.
Take a look around. Kick the pews. And let us know, what do we have to do to put you into a new religion — Infinitiaty — today?
And don't forget to ask about buying salvation on an installment plan. You pay a low down payment equal to the equivalent of three years' worth of your income. Thereafter, you need make only low monthly payments that shouldn't be excessively painful as long as you have great fortitude*.
For example, have you read:
|History: The First Infinitians
How did people first realize the truth of Infinitiaty and the infinite number of Gods? Not surprisingly, sex was involved. We got your interest, didn't we? Damn, do we know our parishioners and prospective parishioners or what? You people are sex-obsessed, aren't you?
OK, off you go. Read the article.
Click here to read more.
© Copyright Klebanoff Associates, Inc., 2009 - 2015. Infinitiaty and Infinitian are trademarks of Klebanoff Associates, Inc.
In the unlikely event that you have any time available after praying and paying in the Church of Infinitiaty, you might enjoy a visit to Shalampax. Or not. It's really hard to say for certain.
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