You’ll often hear people refer to “God One’s Grand Plan.” Or they might say “God One’s Great Plan.” For short, they may leave out the “One” and talk instead about “God’s Grand Plan” or “God’s Great Plan.” Or they may use some other words to that effect.
It doesn’t matter how they say it because it’s all bunk. God One does have a plan, but He revises it massively all the time, which hardly makes it a plan at all. And it’s very far from being either great or grand.
Just look around you. There are wars, famines, diseases, pestilence, murders, rapes, muggings, child molestations, and so few people wear hats these days. Do you call that a great or grand plan? No way.
Don’t take my word for it. The Chief Sage Officer of the Church of Infinitiaty has spoken to a number of the other Gods about this. Most of them think that God One’s plan is stupid, at best, or horrifically brutal. Others think that, worse, it is flawed in a way that makes it even more vicious than if it was merely brutal.
Grand Plan Debunked
God 237 sums it up best, “A great plan? Give me a break. Look at the results. I could have done better with my eyes closed than the plan that this putz of a God, God One, came up with. In fact, I have done better with my eyes closed. My universe is a thing of beauty. Everything works. What’s more, all of My creatures perpetually live in peace, health and happiness. Now, there’s a great plan! What’s more, I designed my universe and all of the creations in it in my sleep.”
Most of the other Gods who have created universes don’t have a plan at all. They designed their universes and the creatures in it to be self-sufficient, with the ability to figure things out for themselves. In all of the cases that we know of, the creations in those universes have much more fulfilled, less catastrophe-plagued, less stressful, and more enjoyable lives than we do. If it were a contest between them and us for the most perfect creations, they’d win hands down.
Not only does not having a plan result in better universes and happier beings, but it leaves the Gods free to do other things, such as visit our universe and laugh at us being brutalized by God One’s plan, rather than monitoring their creations and tending to their plan all of the time.
To date, the Chief Sage Officer has asked hundreds of the Gods to comment on God One’s plan and the most complimentary observation that any of them made was, “Yes, it’s true that it’s mostly horrid, but it reaches supreme mediocrity in some areas.” It was God 44 who said that. However, she was having a torrid affair with God One at the time so she was predisposed to saying favorable things about Him and His plan.
So, the next time you hear someone talk about “God’s Great Plan,” laugh. But don’t laugh to loudly. You don’t want God One to hear you. He knows that His plan sucks royally and He’s rather sensitive about it.