Sheldon from Doubtfield, Texas, USA sent me the following question:
If there is a God, let alone an infinity of Gods, why is there disease? Why did God One create the viruses, bacteria and other nasties that make us sick? Wouldn’t it have been better for us, supposedly His number one creation, if He didn’t create those things?
Sheldon, Sheldon, Sheldon. You haven’t been reading your bible, have you? God One is constantly smiting. And he loves to tell his creations to go out and destroy villages, raping and pillaging as they do. That sort of stuff is His primary entertainment. You’d know that if you spent more time reading the Good Book. If you did, you’d know that diseases were indeed godly.
And, while God One often commands humans to do the smiting, and occasionally makes the effort to do some Himself, we shouldn’t believe that He restricts that sort of stuff to just humans and Himself. Even the minuscule viruses, bacteria, parasites and other microscopic meanies have a part to play in amusing God One by smiting and otherwise inflicting pain and suffering for His enjoyment.
The other Gods are split on this issue. Generally, any Gods who appreciate devilish irony as the ultimate literary form applaud God One for staging a comedy in which we humans, mighty in our own minds, are laid low by creations too small for us to see with our naked eyes.
Diseases: A Godly Way of Smiting?
Other Gods mock God One for “sending an amoeba to do the job [smiting or laying low] of a man, woman or God.” (Most of the Gods think that God One was stupid to make so many miniscule creations. They usually contemptuously refer to all of God One’s microscopic creations as amoeba, no matter what they might really be.)
Even more Gods think that all of this smiting and inflicting of suffering is not entertaining at all. Instead, they think it proves that God One is way too vicious. They have been trying to convince God One to see a deity therapist to work through his sadism issues.
Of course, with an infinite number of Gods out there, the vast majority of them don’t give a damn what God One or His creations do.
And, Sheldon, if that explanation as to why there is disease is too much for your sensitive little mind to accept, then think of it this way: It’s all part of God One’s great plan. The creation of harmful or even deadly viruses and bacteria might seem foolish to us, but that’s only because our puny, diseased brains are incapable of comprehending the grand plan of an omnipotent sadist.
Now, get take two acetylsalicylic acid tablets, drink plenty of fluids, rest in bed and definitely don’t call me in the morning. I’ve got better things to do than listen to your whining about whatever disease you might have.