Doug from Buttuggly, Australia recently asked,
“I’ve heard some preachers from other religions saying that we were created in God’s image. I assume they are talking about God One, as He is the god who created us, but I can’t believe that’s true.
“I’m short and morbidly obese. I have a face that scares small children, large and small animals, and garden slugs. (The latter is rather surprising as they don’t have much vision to speak of, but they still find my face to be frightening.) And I have a penis that is so tiny that it can’t be seen beyond my corpulence even when I strain to pull my fat up toward my chin. I can’t believe that God One looks like me.
“Am I wrong? Were we created in God’s image as the other religions say?”
Doug, I’ve heard that crap about being created in God’s image too. What a load of bullshit. I can’t believe that someone who is intelligent enough to choose Infinitiaty as his religion would, for as much as an instant, even only fleetingly consider that such a statement might be true. It’s just yet one more proof that the religions that make the claim about us being created in God’s—any God’s image—are patently false.
God’s Image. Not.
First, God One—and all of the Gods, for that matter—is an amorphous being. He doesn’t have an image. So, for us to be created in God One’s image we would have to be formless. Based on your description, it sounds as though you are not formless. On the contrary, I suspect that you have way too much form for your own and everyone else’s good.
Second, come on! Take a look in a mirror. Do you really think there’s any chance that any God would even vaguely resemble you? No way.
If God One had a form he would no doubt choose to be a tall, slender, handsome dude so as to have a better chance at scoring with the female Gods. And, concerning that penis of yours, if God One had a form, you can safely bet all of the money in the world that He would be built like a … like a … well, like a God. He certainly wouldn’t be satisfied with that little molecule of a willy that you have.
So, Doug, you can be certain that any religion that tells you that you were created in God’s image is a sham religion.
Now, get to a gym and go on a diet. And you might also want to think about getting some plastic surgery too. You don’t want to reflect poorly on Infinitiaty, do you?