It is with sincere regret and appalled dismay that I find it necessary to issue a serious and stark warning. It has come to my attention that some people have been claiming, in very public venues, that they speak for God. Sometimes, impossible though it may be to believe, that they even claim to converse with God. These proclamations are usually followed by a plea for financial donations in God’s name. These “preachers” are often referred to as televangelists.
I am almost 100 percent certain that these people are flimflam artists. Their claims are bogus. And their requests for donations in the name of God are fraudulent.
When the televangelists say “God” they are almost certainly speaking of God One because the other Gods aren’t in regular attendance in our universe. They visit only when they want to entertain themselves by observing God One’s screwed up creations. So, speaking to another God or trying to get on His or Her good side by collecting money for Him or Her would be a very inefficient endeavor.
Yet, televangelists can’t be speaking to God One. The Chief Sage Officer of the Church of Infinitiaty is the only human He speaks with. God One and the Chief Sage Officer mostly talk about sports. But sometimes they discuss the state of the planet and the sins of humanity. They discuss sex sins a lot. They get off on talking about that.
God One occasionally leaves a message with one of the Sages of Infinitiaty if the Chief Sage Officer is busy, but that’s it. He speaks to no one else on Earth.
What’s more, the televangelists can’t be collecting funds in God One’s name. The Church of Infinitiaty has signed an exclusive contract with God One to collect money on His behalf. God One has been known to break the occasional contract, but I am positive that He is not doing so in this case. Thus, people claiming to be collecting money on God One’s behalf are lying unless they are not authorized representatives of the Church of Infinitiaty. No doubt about it.
Are Televangelists Agents of Other Gods? Probably not.
It is possible that, inefficient though it may be, televangelists are talking to and collecting money in the name of another God. But that’s unlikely. Most of the other Gods respect the speaking hierarchy set up by God One, our Lord and Creator. Consequently, most of the other Gods also speak only through the Chief Sage Officer of the Church of Infinitiaty. What’s more, the Church of Infinitiaty has signed exclusive donation-collection contracts with many of the Gods who visit our universe frequently.
Besides, even if the televangelists do work on behalf of one of the other Gods, because humans and our universe are God One’s creations, God One can override any of the miracles that any of the other Gods perform here. I don’t know if that is an absolute power that each God has in His or Her own universe, or if it is just convention among the Gods, but it doesn’t matter. We have it on absolute faith that is the way it is.
Therefore, because God One can override other Gods’ miracles if he so chooses, you may be throwing your money away if you try to buy the favor of one of the other Gods.
What I’m saying is, if a televangelist comes on television, change the channel and definitely don’t send money no matter how much his or her plea may tug at your heartstrings and your faith. Take it from me, the televangelists don’t truly represent, speak for, speak to, or have authority to collect money on behalf of God One. Only the Church of Infinitiaty does. You can trust me on that because I got it directly from my boss, the Chief Sage Officer, who does talk with God One.