Kim from Salacious Creek, California, USA wants to know,
Is the sacrificing of virgins to pay tribute to one or more of the Gods a part of the Infinitiaty religion? If not, has it ever been?
Congratulations, Kim. You are the winner of the stupidest question of the month contest. Sorry. There’s no prize other than the satisfaction of knowing that no one is stupider than you are.
No, we don’t sacrifice virgins to the Gods, nor has the sacrificing of virgins ever been part of our religion.
Not only do we think that the practice is hideously reprehensible, but, if we ever did sacrifice a virgin to a God, at least a hundred, and maybe more, of the infinite number of Gods would condemn us to a horrible death as punishment for it.
Sacrificing Virgins Insults Gods. They Prefer Women With Experience
And They would be justified in meting out that punishment. Sacrificing virgins to any of the Gods would be an outrageous insult to the Gods. They insist on experienced women.
I know it’s hard to believe with Them being deities and all, but the Gods usually don’t get a lot of sex with humans. As a result, they want sex partners who will take the lead and show Them a really good time. Virgins wouldn’t know where to begin to please the Gods.
Consequently, we sacrifice only sluts to the Gods. Of course, because most Gods are amorphous beings, it doesn’t matter whether we sacrifice male or female sluts. The majority of the Gods are happy with either—as long as They get a little, if you know what I mean.
Because They are Gods, we are loath to disappoint Them. Thus, before we sacrifice sluts we vigorously audition them to see if they will be adequate sex partners for the Gods.
Fortunately, Infinitiaty is a very accepting, open religion. We have male and female, straight and homosexual Sages and Reverends, so we never have a problem finding a member of the clergy who is willing, able and excited to audition a candidate slut.
In truth, we don’t sacrifice sluts the way pagan religions sacrifice virgins. There is no throwing of sluts into volcanoes or anything like that. After enough members of the Infinitiaty clergy have auditioned a slut to be sure that the slut is fit for a God, we leave the slut in an unlocked room overnight.
If a God hasn’t taken the slut by the morning we figure that no God is interested in him or her, in which case the slut simply goes home, chastened by having been rejected by an infinite number of Gods.