The Chief Sage Officer (CSO) has asked me to use this blog to pass along a message to all religion-based terrorists. If you’re not a terrorist—religion-based or otherwise—this post is not directed at you and you are excused from reading it.
The CSO was recently speaking with God One. It turns out that God One is exceptionally annoyed with people who kill and maim other people (if you want to kill or maim yourself, go ahead, but leave other people out of it) and who generally make a revolting nuisance of themselves, allegedly in God One’s name. God One’s message is that He is more than capable of smiting people Himself, without so much as breaking a sweat. So, if He wanted to create terror, He would jolly well do so Himself.
The extreme presumptuousness of people claiming to be wreaking havoc to protect God One’s honor and institute His dominion is pissing Him off to no end. It’s time to stop.
Terrorists: Stop Pretending to be Fighting God One’s Battle
Stop pretending that God One is incapable of fighting His own battles. It makes Him look weak and incapable of defending Himself. It’s bad enough that this makes him look like a wimp in front of his creations. Worse, the other Gods are making fun of him because of it.
It doesn’t matter what label religious terrorists attach to themselves, whether that be crusaders or jihadis or anything else. Nor does he care what trademark they fight under—ISIS, ISIL, Islamic State, Daesh, Lord’s Resistance Army or whatever. This message is for all terrorists
Rather than creating terror, God One would prefer that terrorists bugger off, have a drink or ten, get laid, and stop destroying His creations.
End of message. Now, bugger off.