Caprice Delanature wrote to ask, “If there is a merciful God—let alone an infinite number of merciful Gods—why do bad things happen to good people?“
Caprice, you have never had an original thought in your life, have you? Just asking.
Well, OK, I’ll reluctantly answer that question for what must be the umpteenth time. (The second time on this blog alone. Click here for the first. Pardon the inconsistencies, but because we can’t possibly hope to understand any of the Gods, these answers must be somewhat fluid and tentative.)
God One, our Creator and the chief meddler in our lives, is all-knowing and all-wise. Well, that might be exaggerating a tad. But never mind. The other Gods—a few of whom occasionally take just barely enough of an interest in us to alter the course of our lives somewhat—are also all-knowing and all-wise. At least, relatively speaking. We, on the other hand, are all village idiots compared to the Gods. In truth, a great many more of us than we’d like to admit are abject village idiots compared to dolphins. And a nauseatingly large number of people don’t compare well against salamanders on that score.
Good People Aren’t Smart Enough to Figure Out Why Bad Things Happen to Them
Because They are Gods and we are intelligence-impaired mortals, we can’t possibly hope to be able to understand the reasons behind what Gods do. It is best, therefore, to not even bother trying to think about it. Instead, grab a glass of wine, a beer, a single malt scotch, a joint, or whatever else your poison might be and put your feet up while you relentlessly watch whatever stupid “reality” shows are on television.
That’s the beauty of religious faith. It frees you from the need to ever think, thereby allowing you to pursue mindless pleasures continuously.
Besides, who ever said that any of the Gods were merciful? That’s a load of bull manure. Look around you. Fires, floods, famines, earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, tornadoes, dread diseases, murders, rapes, torture, and you can’t get a seat at a downtown Starbucks. What about that makes you think for one nanosecond that there is a merciful God out there, let alone an infinite number of them?
Cross any of the Gods, or contravene any of Their dietary laws, and They become the most vengeful omnipotent beings you never—and I do mean never—want to meet.
And, it doesn’t matter how fabulously ethical, moral, good, fine, kind, and generous you otherwise are. If you happen to cross Them or eat something you shouldn’t when They are having a bad day, watch out. You might as well drink hemlock. That would be far more enjoyable and life-prolonging than the fires, floods, lightning and asteroids that will come your way—possibly simultaneously—if you get on Their bad side, even inadvertently.
There. Asked and answered for the umpteenth time. Now, stop trying to think, Caprice. It’s obviously too much of a strain on your puny brain. And, in the future, please refrain from asking me questions unless you can come up with one that hasn’t been asked by at least a million people before you.
Furthermore, stop watching the news. That’s likely what triggered your asinine question in the first place. Bad things happen to good people. That’s all you need to know. Accept it on faith and get over it.