Alexandrovina Fokkinov, from Failinggrad, Russia, asks, “How often and when should I pray to have the best chance of having my prayers answered? Must I always be praying?”
Alexandrovina, you are typical of the people who send me questions, so I don’t mean to single you out, but would it kill you to think a little bit before bothering me with your questions? It doesn’t take much brainpower to realize that there is no right frequency or time for prayer. You should always be praying.
The Gods are infinite in number. Your prayers should be as close as possible to infinite too.
And don’t make the mistake of praying to only God One. By all means, pay Him the respect that He is due by praising Him from time to time, but remember that there are an infinite number of other Gods, each of whom can answer your prayers if He or She so chooses and is available to do so. So, your best option is to aways be praying to one God or another.
Many people pray exclusively to God One because they figure that He’s our creator so He’s the God who might answer our prayers. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
Put the Need for Multi-God Prayer to the Test
You don’t believe me? Try this experiment. Get together a large sample of people who pray to only God One. Two to three thousand people should be adequate to achieve decent statistical significance.
Have those people keep an accurate diary of everything they pray for over the course of a year and the success or failure of their prayers.
At the beginning of the year, tell the study participants to pray as they normally do, but with one stipulation. Insist that the prayers be for things that are not likely to come true without divine intervention. For example, it doesn’t count if on Monday they pray that tomorrow will be Tuesday.
On the other hand, if they, deliberately and without suicidal intent, jump off the top of a sixty-story building and pray that they won’t die, that counts. Big time. Though, if they are inclined to pray for survival in a sixty-floor fall, encourage them to put off their jump until the very last day of the study so you can get a full year’s worth of data from them.
At the end of the year, calculate the average number of prayers that were answered as a percentage of the total number of prayers prayed.
I haven’t conducted the surveys myself, nor have I read the relevant academic literature, but I’m told that rigorous religious research shows that, 19 times out of 20, if you conduct this survey there is a 93.5-percent probability that you will find that the percentage of prayers answered by God One is less than what could be explained by random chance. Just by pure blind luck, even some of your wildest prayers to God One will be answered even if He ignores you.
It may seem amazing to you that fewer of your prayers will be answered than if you didn’t pray to God One at all, but the answer is simple.
There are now over seven billion of us on this planet. God One never expected that. He thought that He had given us enough intelligence to realize that we were supposed to apply his be-fruitful-and-multiply rule only until our species got to be a self-sustaining size. We were supposed to stop breeding like rabbits or, better yet, we should have started making much more frequent use of reliable contraceptives long ago.
Now, with all of these people yapping at Him, God One is overburdened with prayers. Listening to all of us is giving Him migraines.
As a result, He doesn’t want to do anything that might encourage us. Consequently, He doesn’t answer any of our prayers. More than that, He actively tries to discourage us. If one of your prayers is about to come true just by chance God One will sometimes intervene to prevent that.
Always Be Praying
Thus, if you want to have any hope of having your prayers answered you have to pray to Gods other than God One.
Therein lies a problem. Because God One created the order in our universe He is constantly tuned into what is being said about and to Him here. In contrast, the other Gods are tuned into us only when They visit our universe
Only a finite number of the infinity of Gods has ever visited our universe. That finite number is larger than we could count in our lifetimes, but it is still finite. The problem is, while we know some of the Gods who pay us visits, we don’t know all of them.
What’s more, the frequency and duration of those Gods’ visits vary. Although there is considerable disparity, there is generally a much less than a fifty percent chance that a particular God will be around when you pray to Him or Her. Typically, the likelihood that a specific God is listening to you at a specific point in time is infinitesimally small.
So how do you decide which Gods to pray to at any point in time? It would appear to be an unsolvable problem.
If you think you can get around this dilemma by offering a generic prayer to any passing God, forget about it. They hate that. They feel that it is demeaning and a sign of disrespect if we don’t address Them Each directly. In fact, one God or Another might decide to smite you if you try it when He or She is in a foul mood.
So, to have any realistic hope of having any of your prayers answered you should pray constantly to randomly chosen Gods in the hope that one of Them will be listening. Otherwise, the probability that the God you are praying to will be listening at the moment that you choose to pray is almost zero. Like I said, always be praying.
And don’t just pick the obvious Gods. If everyone switched their prayers from God One to, for example, God Two, then God Two will get annoyed at all the people babbling in Her ear. If that happens, She might decide to adopt God One’s prayer-discouragement practices or, possibly, stop visiting our universe altogether.
Instead, vary the Gods you pray to.
In addition, out of slothfulness, most people stick to the low-numbered Gods because Their numbers are easier to say. So, throw some high-numbered deities into the mix. If you happen to pray to, say, God 3646784277545 when He is around and you are the only one praying to Him at that time He is much more likely to condescend to answer your prayer.
A little bit of common sense and a lot of dedication to prayer will go a long way to getting your prayers answered. But one thing is clear. As I’ve said many times already in this post, if you want your prayers to be answered, always be praying.