I recently received an amazingly asinine bible question from Miriam Manique, an alleged Infinitian from Les Dieux, France. In her letter, Mirriam asks the following concerning the faux religion’s account of human Creation:
The Judeo-Christian bible (I spit on the ground at the mere mention of it) says that God (who we know for certain to be God One, only one of an infinite number of Gods) created Adam and Eve and then stopped creating humans, letting Adam and Eve and their decedents take care of cluttering the earth with an overabundance of people.
Our bible (blessed be it) says that, in addition to Adam and Eve, He also created Bob, Carol, Ted and Alice at the same time. According to InfiniGenesis, all six of them then shared responsibility for cluttering the earth with an overabundance of people.
Why should I believe our version? Why wouldn’t God One create just two people and then call it quits? That indolence seems to better fit His character. In fact, were it not for the need for two people—a man and a woman—to procreate, I would have expected Him to stop at one. Considering the way we’ve turned out, I suspect He’s now sorry He didn’t.
Miriam, you start off by talking like an Infinitian, but then you blow your cover by doubting the word of our bible. Remind me not to stand near to you unless there’s a large, sturdy lightning rod between us.
You should believe InfiniGenesis, the first book of the Infinitian Bible, because ours is the only True Bible and it is the Word of God One, therefore you should take it on faith. Alternatively, you can shun our bible and die a horribly excruciating early death and a likely even less enjoyable, possibly eternal afterlife. It’s your choice. I recommend the former.
If damnation doesn’t bother you and faith isn’t sufficient for you, think about this: The Judeo-Christian bible says that, when it came to humans, God created only Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve then had some children, who had some children, who had some children, and so on until the world was filled with today’s seven-billion or so people.
Don’t you see anything wrong with that human Creation hypothesis?
Adam and Eve bore some offspring. (I’m told that they also became bored with their kids, but that’s neither here nor there.) Chapter four of the infidels’ Genesis fairytale talks about only Cain and Abel, but chapter five lists Cane, Abel, Seth and then gets rather loosey-goosey by mentioning other sons and daughters without naming them. That’s fine as far as it goes, but what came next?
Human Creation: Incest Was Not an Option for God One
In the Judeo-Christian story, Adam and Eve’s kids would have had to bear offspring who were not only their children, but also were simultaneously their cousins or their aunts and uncles. I don’t know about you, but the first word that comes to my mind when I think about that is, “yuck!”
It’s well known that God One is the most straight-laced being in this and every other universe. He thinks that even “normal” sex is a four-letter word. (In addition to being priggish, he is also a terrible speller.) There’s no way that He is going to create a situation where the only way to be fruitful and multiply is to engage in incest. Trust me. That’s not His style.
Therefore, the story of Adam and Eve can’t possibly be true. Our facts-based bible’s version, i.e., that God created not only Adam and Eve, but also Bob, Carol, Ted and Alice at the same time, is much more plausible.
Now, as to the effrontery of you asking the question, I think you need to send all of your life’s savings to the Church of Infinitiaty as penance for your heresy.