site map
Sage Mike Prattles

The Force: Is it Infinitian?

Of all the Sages in the Church of Infinitiaty, I have been plagued honoured with a special responsibility to interact with the masses of Infinitians and prospective Infinitians. As such, I have fielded some stupefyingly asinine questions. Believe me, you wouldn’t believe it. Nevertheless, one I received recently about “The Force” is near the top of the lunatic chart.

The Force: Science fiction is still fiction. Duh.

The Force: Science fiction is still fiction. Duh.

Snah bin Solo, of Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, emailed me to ask,

“Dear Sage Mike,

Star Wars preaches the gospel of The Force. How does The Force fit into our blessed religion of Infinitiaty?

Yours in The Force,
Snah bin Solo”

I suspect that Snah bin Solo is a pseudonym adopted because Infinitians are persecuted mercilessly in Saudi Arabia. If so, I understand and sympathize completely. It’s also possible that the writer used a nom de plume to avoid having to own up to having asked such an incredibly stupid question. That, too, is a wise course under the circumstances. Those circumstances being that it was, indeed, an incredibly stupid question.

Whatever.

Snah, am I misinformed? I thought I thought it was illegal to consume alcohol in Saudi Arabia. Are any hallucinogens allowed there? Ore are you breaking the law? You’re obviously on something.

Spoiler: The Force is Fiction

I don’t know how to break this to you, Snah. You do know that the Star Wars films are works of fiction, don’t you? There’s an easy way to tell. There’s no succinct, yet boring text at the ends of the films telling you what the lead characters went on to do in their real lives after the storylines depicted in the films ended. That should be a dead giveaway that the films are fiction.

In short, unlike Infinitiaty, The Force is not real. Plain and simple, it’s fiction.

There is no reason why I should have to explain how a fictional element fits into a real-life religion. It’s absurd. It would be like trying to explain how weapons of mass destruction fit into the justification for attacking Iraq in 2003.

Besides, think about it. Even if you believed that Star Wars was non-fiction, you should still have realized that The Force could not play a part in Infinitiaty. It is totally out of character for our religion.

The Force of Star Wars fame is not something you can pray to. If it were, in fact, real, you may be able to make use of it to achieve good or (on the dark side of The Force) for evil purposes, but it does not have a consciousness that would be susceptible to prayer.

The Church of Infinitiaty might be able to sell courses on how to make use of The Force, but the revenue potential beyond that would be limited. (The exception, of course, would be profits to be made off the Star Wars franchise. So far, we haven’t found a way to get in on that.) The Church of Infinitiaty would, therefore, have no interest in The Force. And, if the Church of Infinitiaty has no interest in it, it can’t possibly have a place in a legitimate religion because Infinitiaty is the only true religion.

 

Pray, do tell ...