Infinitiaty


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The Holy Infinity Debate

 The Holy Infinity Debate

The Holy Infinity Debate

A short-lived, but querulous debate within the Church of Infinitiaty ended recently. You might be interested in hearing the details if, as a result of having absolutely no life whatsoever, you are suffering from a terminal case of boredom and are, therefore, looking for something—anything—to occupy your mind for a few minutes to stave off your lethal ennui, even if only briefly.

Here’s what happened.

Inga Dingbāht, an Infinitiaty Church franchisee and self-appointed reverend at the First Krāzi Most Holy Infinitian Church of God 9834, or FKMHICoG9834 for short, located in Krāzi, Latvia, started the debate when she postulated that there were not an infinite number of Gods, as Infinitiaty now preaches, but rather one God with an infinite number of aspects. Her theory was that when a God created another God—as must be the case because nothing can exist without being created and only a God can create a God—the newly created “God” was not, in fact, materially a new God, but rather a new aspect of what she calls The Holy Infinity.

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Ontological Proof

Ontological Proof of Infinitiaty

Ontological Proof of Infinitiaty

The Church of Infinitiaty Web site offers boundless proofs of the existence of an infinite number of Gods, the central tenet of Infinitiaty. Yet there is one proof that the site leaves out for some unknown reason. And it’s a proof that puts the final nails in the coffins of the monotheistic, finite-theistic and, heavens forbid, atheistic belief systems.

I would speak to the Infinitiaty Web content developer about correcting this serious omission, but she’s currently in the witness protection program and can’t be reached. Rather than leave you ignorant, I’ll present the proof here.

I am speaking of the ontological proof of an infinite number of Gods.

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Proof of a God Child

Christiana Corpuscle, former teacher at Godsword High. Photo taken by one of her students during a very private after-school tutoring session.

Christiana Corpuscle, former teacher at Godsword High. Photo taken by one of her students during a very private after-school tutoring session. Notice God One looking on in the background.

Some religions postulate that their god had a child. The most notable such religion that, for a reason that escapes me, is still widely followed is Christianity. Christians think that Jesus Christ was the son of their god, God.

But what proof do they have? None whatsoever. There are second-hand accounts died attesting to the “fact” of His existence, but those accounts were written years after the alleged Christ allegedly. And were any of the authors of those accounts present when their god, God, allegedly impregnated Mary? No, they were not. Their claim is, therefore, dubious, to say the least.

Infinitiaty doesn’t claim that our Gods have had children as such. However, we do know that Gods create other Gods. It’s inevitable. Nothing can be created without a Creator so there must be an infinite number of Gods that created an infinite number of other Gods. No one knows how that happens, but to think that a human host is part of the process is ludicrous. And we know for certain that no sex is involved and there are no virgin births.

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God Helps Those

Does God One help those who help themselves?

Does God One help those who help themselves?

You’ve probably heard the sayings before: “God helps those who help themselves.” “Do your best and God will do the rest.” And there are plenty of other adages of that that ilk floating around.

The sayings are usually spoken with a tone of deep earnestness that attempts to leave no doubt about their veracity. But are they indeed true?

Well, I’ll ignore the fact that the people who say these things are obviously not true Infinitians and, therefore, they are undeserving, wretched souls who do not merit being listened to at all. If they were true Infinitians they would say God One, not God, because, as we all know, our Creator, God One, is just one of an infinite number of Gods.

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The Eternal God Myth

God has not been around forever

God has not been around forever

We Infinitians know that there must be an infinite number of Gods because nothing can be created without a Creator. So the God Who created us had to have had Someone or Something—another God—to create Him. And She needed another God to create Her. And He … well, you get the point, ad infinitum.

When monotheists are confronted with this irrefutable fact they often feebly counter with the argument, “God always existed so He didn’t need a Creator.”

Have you ever heard anything such incredibly stupid claptrap in all your life? Those monotheists really need to give their heads a collective shake.

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Boycott This Book!

Book rated one cockroach

One cockroach award

There is a new book out, Parallel Collective, that I need to talk to you about. I need to talk to you about this abominable book. What I need to tell you is that you need to avoid it like the plague. It is blasphemous to the extreme.

Whether you believe in an infinite numbers Gods, like us Infinitians, or a small finite number of Gods, or, heaven forbid, only one God, you need to tell all of your family, friends, neighbours and colleagues that they must boycott Parallel Collective and they must also insist that all of their family, friends, neighbors and colleagues to boycott the book too.

The book is odious. It is populated with  characters who are atheists. In fact, everyone in the book is an atheist. Can you imagine? We can’t let our children, or anyone else—child or adult—for that matter, read this book. It is an insult to all of the infinite number of Gods.

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