Infinitiaty


A blog wherein Sage Mike blathers on to justify his existence.
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Is Infinity Knowable?

Is infinity knowable?

Is infinity knowable?

The question, “is infinity knowable,” has plagued the brightest of philosophers for millennia.

Well, maybe not plagued so much as they’ve occasionally given it passing consideration, but only when the weather is too miserable to go out and enjoy themselves.

And the “brightest of philosophers” might be an exaggeration. Most of them are more along the lines of barbers with spare time on their hands, which is not to say there is anything wrong with barbers with spare time on their hands. Many of them are fine, upstanding individuals. And they give good haircuts.

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Is Suicide a Sin?

Is Suicide a Sin?

Is Suicide a Sin?

Bubba Liu, a man of Chinese descent by way of Arkansas and Louisiana, now lives in Corpus Satani, Texas. He may be very troubled. Why do I say that? Bubba emailed me to ask whether suicide was considered a sin in Infinitiaty, the religion he has practiced devoutly all his adult life.

In case Bubba asked that for deeply personal reasons, triggered by a very dark emotional crisis, compassion compels me to urge him in the strongest possible terms to seek the professional help of a lawyer to ensure that he has an airtight will that bequeaths all of his assets to the Church of Infinitiaty.

Bubba, please, please, please. I beg of you. Run off to see your lawyer right now, before you do anything rash. Later maybe too late. All of your assets may go to our next of kin rather than to the Church, as they should.

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The Holy Infinity Debate

 The Holy Infinity Debate

The Holy Infinity Debate

A short-lived, but querulous debate within the Church of Infinitiaty ended recently. You might be interested in hearing the details if, as a result of having absolutely no life whatsoever, you are suffering from a terminal case of boredom and are, therefore, looking for something—anything—to occupy your mind for a few minutes to stave off your lethal ennui, even if only briefly.

Here’s what happened.

Inga Dingbāht, an Infinitiaty Church franchisee and self-appointed reverend at the First Krāzi Most Holy Infinitian Church of God 9834, or FKMHICoG9834 for short, located in Krāzi, Latvia, started the debate when she postulated that there were not an infinite number of Gods, as Infinitiaty now preaches, but rather one God with an infinite number of aspects. Her theory was that when a God created another God—as must be the case because nothing can exist without being created and only a God can create a God—the newly created “God” was not, in fact, materially a new God, but rather a new aspect of what she calls The Holy Infinity.

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Ontological Proof

Ontological Proof of Infinitiaty

Ontological Proof of Infinitiaty

The Church of Infinitiaty Web site offers boundless proofs of the existence of an infinite number of Gods, the central tenet of Infinitiaty. Yet there is one proof that the site leaves out for some unknown reason. And it’s a proof that puts the final nails in the coffins of the monotheistic, finite-theistic and, heavens forbid, atheistic belief systems.

I would speak to the Infinitiaty Web content developer about correcting this serious omission, but she’s currently in the witness protection program and can’t be reached. Rather than leave you ignorant, I’ll present the proof here.

I am speaking of the ontological proof of an infinite number of Gods.

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Proof of a God Child

Christiana Corpuscle, former teacher at Godsword High. Photo taken by one of her students during a very private after-school tutoring session.

Christiana Corpuscle, former teacher at Godsword High. Photo taken by one of her students during a very private after-school tutoring session. Notice God One looking on in the background.

Some religions postulate that their god had a child. The most notable such religion that, for a reason that escapes me, is still widely followed is Christianity. Christians think that Jesus Christ was the son of their god, God.

But what proof do they have? None whatsoever. There are second-hand accounts died attesting to the “fact” of His existence, but those accounts were written years after the alleged Christ allegedly. And were any of the authors of those accounts present when their god, God, allegedly impregnated Mary? No, they were not. Their claim is, therefore, dubious, to say the least.

Infinitiaty doesn’t claim that our Gods have had children as such. However, we do know that Gods create other Gods. It’s inevitable. Nothing can be created without a Creator so there must be an infinite number of Gods that created an infinite number of other Gods. No one knows how that happens, but to think that a human host is part of the process is ludicrous. And we know for certain that no sex is involved and there are no virgin births.

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God Helps Those

Does God One help those who help themselves?

Does God One help those who help themselves?

You’ve probably heard the sayings before: “God helps those who help themselves.” “Do your best and God will do the rest.” And there are plenty of other adages of that that ilk floating around.

The sayings are usually spoken with a tone of deep earnestness that attempts to leave no doubt about their veracity. But are they indeed true?

Well, I’ll ignore the fact that the people who say these things are obviously not true Infinitians and, therefore, they are undeserving, wretched souls who do not merit being listened to at all. If they were true Infinitians they would say God One, not God, because, as we all know, our Creator, God One, is just one of an infinite number of Gods.

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