Category Archives: Fundraising
Not Passing the Plate
I’m often asked why the clergy at Infinitian churches don’t pass a collection plate as is done in the places of worship of many other religions. This perplexes the questioners particularly because giving to the church until it hurts to prove your love of the Gods is the most entrenched, hallowed dogma of our faith. [...]
InfiniRewards Program
You’ve got to hand it to the Chief Marketing Officer (CMO) of Infinitiaty. She’s always thinking up creative new ways to promote the glory of the Gods. The CMO’s latest idea is the recently launched InfiniRewards, a loyalty program designed for frequent donors to the Church of Infinitiaty. Here’s how it works. First, you apply [...]
Giving Enough
Barry, a cheapskate from Faithmoola, Florida, USA, using a computer that I traced back to a public library, emailed me from a free email account to ask, How much of my salary and savings should I be donating to the Church of Infinitiaty to show my gratitude to the Gods for all of the blessings [...]
Adultery Dispensation Sale
I’m so excited that I can’t wait to tell you this news. It will truly change lives—big time! For a very limited time—just two weeks—the Church of Infinitiaty is holding an adultery dispensation sale. During this time, for every four adultery dispensations that you buy at the regular price of $198.12 to gain forgiveness from [...]
Spiritually Enriched
Many people suggest that Infinitiaty, along with its officers and clergy, are all about money and nothing else. They disparagingly claim that spirituality comes second in the Church of Infinitiaty. Nothing could be further from the truth. Throughout the centuries, some of the most impenetrable minds among the most deeply religious of people, not to [...]
