In the Infinitian religion, a pledge to donate money to the church is considered to be a binding, enforceable contract. Unlike a civil contract, which is a contract between individuals and/or corporations, an Infinitian donation contract is a contract between the future donor and the Gods, the infinity of Gods to be exact. Thus, the consequences of breaking this type of contract are dire.
Obviously, any of the Gods is more than capable of inflicting an enormous punishment on a promise-breaker. Any of Them could do so using just one of Their pinky fingers. With Their eyes closed, Without breaking a sweat. If, indeed, They had fingers, eyes and sweat glands, which many of Them do not have. But, with or without those parts of Their godly anatomy, administering punishment against an individual would be the easiest thing in the universe for Them.
However, we love Gods — all of the infinite number of them. We wouldn’t think of asking Them to punish people who welsh on their pledges when we are perfectly capable of carrying out those punishments ourselves. That’s why we have a Tithing Enforcement Manager (TEM). He or she manages a group of Tithing Enforcers who are responsible for making sure that people keep their donation promises or pay the consequences. The TEM reports to the Chief Tithing Officer (CTO).
Enforcement: Tools of the Trade
The primary tools of Tithing Enforcers’ trade are baseball bats and brass knuckles. Before being turned over to the enforcers, these items are blessed by the Chief Sage Officer (CSO). After being sanctified, the baseball bats and brass knuckles, as well as any actions they are used in, are sacred and part of Gods’ works.
The Tithing Enforcement Manager’s department receives 25 percent of all of the funds it collects. It is up to the TEM to decide how much of that to keep as his or her salary and how much to distribute to the Tithing Enforcers as their salaries. This is why the TEM generally allows the Tithing Enforcers to carry only baseball bats and brass knuckles, while the TEM carries a gun or two and keeps a few cruise missiles in his or her office.
The primary consideration when hiring a new TEM is past experience with the mob.