Religious Administration
site map

Indulgences

Indulgences buy undeserved salvation and take the worry out of sinning.

Indulgences buy undeserved salvation and take the worry out of sinning.

As the sages of Infinitiaty have proven, there are an infinite number of Gods. Unfortunately for us humans, each of those Gods has a different set of commandments that we must follow and rules about what is good and evil; and right and wrong. If you break any of those commandments or rules you will be in either do-do or deep do-do depending on the severity of the commandment or rule and the God who made it.

Being mere mortals, it is impossible for us to understand the logic of the Gods. We must simply accept Their logic on faith no matter how ridiculous it may seem to us. This is a problem because, with an infinite number of Gods, absolutely everything you do will offend at least one God or another, even if you, with your puny human brain, think you’re doing good.

Worst of all, what some Gods command us to do, other Gods command us to not do. Apparently, some of Them don’t have any more of a clue about what’s going on than we do. The problem is, how can we possibly adhere to two contradictory commandments at the same time? The answer is, we can’t. Don’t even think of it.

Indulgences: Pious “Get Out of Jail Not-So-Free” Cards

It would appear that we are doomed no matter what we do, but we’re not. Fortunately, you can buy indulgences from the Infinitiaty Church. These indulgences will grant you salvation from your sins. The links below will take you to pages that provide indulgence fees for different categories of sins.

In the lists on the linked pages, the “Sin Level” column shows, on a scale of 1 – 5, in whole numbers only, how sinful the associated sin is considered to be by the God who is the strictest about the sin’s sinfulness. If you don’t buy indulgence, a level 1 sin may only get you a really bad seat the next time you go to a movie. On the other hand, without absolution, a level 5 sin will condemn you to an interminable, excruciatingly painful march toward death, starting almost immediately.

The “God#” column identifies which God is responsible for the sin’s “Sin Level.” Gods are numbered based on Their Creator level. For example, our Creator is 1. Our Creator’s Creator is 2. Our Creator’s Creator’s Creator is 3. And so on. With an infinite number of Gods, but a sin level range of only 1 to 5, it is inevitable that there will be ties—in fact, an infinite number of ties—for the strictest God designation. Rather than attempting to list an infinite number of Gods, the highest of the tied Gods is published in this column.

The indulgence price is what you must pay per occurrence of the sin if you want to be saved from the normal punishments for your sin. In general, for any one God, you pay more to receive indulgence for a higher-level sin than a lower-level. However, the higher the level of God, the higher the indulgence that must be paid to appease Him or Her.

Please click on the links below to see the indulgence fees for the relevant type of sin or use the search box to look for words within a sin description.

  Categories:  
Hygiene Sins
Verbal Sins
Fashion Sins
Dietary Sins
Sins Against Yourself
Sins Against Others
Sins Against the Church
Sins Against Animals
Sins of the Flesh
  Search for indulgences:  

Search terms:

A value is required.

In category: