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Book of Kristi: Chapter 13

Blind Man Cure: Kristi gives sight to the blind

Blind Man Cure: Kristi gives sight to the blind

Blind Man Cure: Kristi gives sight to the blind

Kristi Just Kristi, her husband and their financial adviser walked into a local watering hole bearing the sign, “Ye Olde Watering Hole.” Inside, tables were arranged around a watering hole, or what people with less marketing sense would call a well.

Upon seeing that it was literally a watering hole, Kristi’s husband and financial adviser left in search of stronger libations. Kristi, being thirsty, stayed.

As she sat at a table waiting for her order of a glass of water to be filled, she saw a beggar at the door. He was holding onto the halter of a seeing eye donkey.

The blind beggar wanted to come in, but the proprietor would not allow his ass to come in with him. Kristi approached the beggar and said, “Come, my friend. Leave your ass behind. Join me in a glass of water. I’ll buy.”

“But, I am blind,” replied the beggar. “My guide donkey is my eyes.”

“I will guide you,” answered Kristi.

“But someone will steal my ass if I leave it behind.”

“These are good folk and true in Gotham. They will not steal the ass of a blind beggar. Nobody could be so low.”

The beggar went inside with Kristi, leaving his donkey tied to a post. After Kristi and the beggar were inside and the door of the Ye Olde Watering Hole closed, a crowd formed around the ass. Cards were drawn to determine which of the town folk would be awarded the honor of stealing it.

The blind man had the thickest, blackest hair Kristi had ever seen. Surely, she thought, this must be a mistake of Creation or evolution as the case may be. His head must overheat horribly.

And the man wore his hair in opaque bangs to cover his embarrassment about his useless eyes.

Kristi invited the blind beggar to her table. They talked as they sipped their glasses of water. Then, learning the lesson that God One had chosen to teach them, they alternated sipping and drinking for trying to do both simultaneously caused great choking to occur.

Kristi asked the blind man if he had been blind from birth. He replied that he couldn’t remember much from his infancy, but he had, as far as he could remember, been sightless since the time he first grew a full head of hair.

And Kristi muttered to herself, “Freaking idiots. I’m surrounded by freaking idiots.”

Blind No More

She spit upon the earthen floor. She stirred the spit and earth with her finger. She then rubbed the mud into his bangs of hair so that it might serve as a hair gel. With his hair stiffened, she parted his thick, black opaque bangs to expose the blind beggar’s eyes for the first time since he was a young child.

And the man lifted his head to the heavens and proclaimed, “Praise be to God One (or whichever God did it) for sending me His or Her prophet Kristi to perform a miracle and give me sight.”

The beggar then left to preach throughout the land of the miracle of sight given to him by Kristi. And so overjoyed was he that he was little angered when he discovered that his ass had been stolen. Although, he was not completely without regret for he thought that his ass would have made for several tasty meals now that it was no longer needed as a guide donkey.

And again Kristi muttered to herself, “Freaking idiots. I’m surrounded by freaking idiots.”

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