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Book of Kristi: Chapter 11

Demon Exorcism. Kristi drives out impure spirits

Casting Out a Demon

Casting Out a Demon

Kristi went down to Capernaum, a town within one good day’s camel ride from Gotham. And on each Sabbath day she taught the people there physics in a place of worship.

She taught on the Sabbath because everything was closed and she had nothing else to do. She taught them physics because she needed some lab assistants for some of her experiments and no one in the world knew enough about it to help her. She taught in a place of worship because she thought the building should be put to good use every once in a while.

Kristi taught the Capernaumians rather than Gothamites because in Capernaum the people showed some signs of having one or two neurons and synapses in their heads, unlike her fellow Gothamites.

The Capernaumians were amazed at her teaching, because her words had authority. They were certain of her wisdom because her talks included many polysyllabic words.

Possessed by a Demon

In the place of worship there was a man possessed by demons, impure spirits. The man cried out at the top of his voice, “Go away! What do you want with us, Kristi of Gotham? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are—the Holy One of God One!”

“Be quiet!” Kristi said sternly.

Then she slapped him and said, “Sober up! And, in the future, don’t be such a frigging cheapskate. Pay for good spirits. The impurities in cut-rate hooch will kill you.”

And the man was released from the impure spirits’ intoxicating hold. And the man threw himself down before them all and threw up. And the impure spirits, along with all of his meals for the past two days, came out without injuring him.

All the people were amazed and said to each other, “What words these are! With authority and power she gives orders to impure spirits and they come out!” And the news about Kristi’s miracles spread far and wide.

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