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Book of Kristi: Chapter 18

Execution of Kristi: Death by bees

Execution of Kristi: Death by bees

Execution of Kristi: Death by bees

Kristi’s execution was set for high noon, seven days from the day of her conviction. During the intervening week she was securely shackled to metal rings firmly affixed to a post immovably planted deep in the floor of the dirty, dusky dungeon in the basement of the courthouse.

For seven days, guards brought her small meals of water and gruel. These meals arrived just twice a day, once in the morning and again ten minutes later in the morning. The guards, all of whom had come to believe that Kristi was indeed a prophet, took to regularly rubbing Kristi’s breasts in the hope that it would bring them into the good graces of the God that Kristi represented. At least, that was their story and they were sticking to it.

On the morning of her execution, Kristi was given two last meals. The post she was shackled to was then dug up and she was forced to drag it to the execution grounds because, in one of their many drunken stupors, the guards had lost the key to the shackles.

At the execution grounds, where a large crowd of people starved of entertainment had gathered, Kristi was lowered into a deep, square pit. Guards climbed down a ladder and hammered the post Kristi was attached to into the ground.

Execution by Bees

The only approved method of execution in Gotham was death by bees.  Following custom, to ensure that the bees had ready access to her body, the guards loosened Kristi’s garments.

Sweet nectar was poured over her head and between her clothes and skin. The guards took more care than was absolutely necessary to ensure that the nectar thoroughly and evenly covered her breasts, buttocks and genitals. The guards then climbed up the ladder had pulled it up out of the pit.

Twelve well-populated hives of hungry bees were then thrown into the pit with Kristi.

Frenzied, hundreds of thousands of bees stung her as they sucked the nectar. Desperate, Kristi tried swatting them away with her hands. Onlookers were convinced that, rather than swatting, she was forming the infinity symbol in the air. This was miraculously prescient of them as the infinity symbol would not be given its meaning for at least a couple, and probably more than three, millennia hence. This prescience proved that it must have been an insight bestowed upon them by one or more of the Gods.

Recognizing the Prophet Kristi

Thus did the people come to believe that Kristi was a true worshiper of not just God One, but also all of the other infinite number of Gods. And thus did they come to recognize her as the last true prophet until the next true prophet. And thus even the menfolk, incorrigible male chauvinists though they were, came to believe that she should be worshipped for her soul, not just her body, but her body too.

When the bees finished their feeding frenzy and buzzed off or died, four guards climbed down to the body of the now well and truly dead Kristi. There, they took her clothes, dividing them into four shares, one for each of them, with only her undergarment remaining. The undergarment was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom.

“Let’s not tear the undergarment,” they said to one another. “Let’s decide by lot who will get it.”

This they did so that a prophesy in a sacred Infinitian scripture might be fulfilled. That prophesy said,

“They divided my clothes among them and cast lots for my garment.”

So this is what the guards did.

The guards then threw all of Kristi’s garments, including her undergarment, away, having taken them only so that they could get a look at Kristi’s naked body, which was still beautiful despite all of the bee stings.

Later, Josiah of Arrhythmia asked Plinius Pilatius for the naked body of Kristi, for that’s the kind of man Josiah was. With Pilatius’ permission, he came and took the body away.

Josiah and his friend, Nick O’demus, brought a mixture of myrrh and aloes, and took turns rubbing the mixture on what was commonly referred to as the “private parts” of Kristi. The two of them wrapped her naked body with their own, because that was the sort of necrophiliacs they were. When they were done with her body they hid it behind some bushes in an isolated area in a dense forest.

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