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Book of Proverbs

Book of Proverbs

The Infinitiaty Book of Proverbs was written over the course of about 1,000 years. There are multiple authors. Each lived between 5,000 and 6,000 years ago.

The Book of Proverbs was discovered only in 1972. In that year, an antiquities consignment shop dealer found the original book lost among an unopened consignment. The consignment had been lingering in the basement for an unknown number of years. Recognizing the book’s importance, and being an Infinitiaty believer himself, the shopkeeper donated the book to the Church of Infinitiaty.

The Church had the book analyzed to guarantee its authenticity. The report returned from Luigi’s Materials Research and Radiocarbon Dating Laboratory and Pizzeria confirmed that the book was composed of parchment pages dated from between 5,000 and 6,000 years ago. As noted above, this matched with Infinitian scholars’ expectations.  Thus, there is no question that this is the original Infinitiaty Book of Proverbs. As an added bonus, Luigi also threw in a large peperoni, onions and mushroom pizza for free.

Authentically Translated Proverbs

Excerpts from the Infinitiaty Book of Proverbs were published only recently due to the time required to translate them into English, the current holy language of Infinitiaty. The book was originally written in a previously unknown language. It appears to be a mix of Hebrew, Aramaic and gibberish. Deciphering the language was mystifying and arduous. It took 30 years for the translators to reach the point where they had rendered sufficient proverbs to make it worth publishing their work.

There are still many proverbs left to translate.

They will be published here as the work is completed. To read the translated proverbs and gain important life insights from them, click on the links below to view proverbs by a specific author or about a specific topic.

King Meshugenna
King Nebbish
Prophet Brandi
Prophet Fred
Sage Bubkiss
Sage Gässbagg
Sage Gertrude
Sage Schlemiel
Anger Animals
Charity Cleanliness
Death Discourse
Family Forgiveness
Freedom Friendship
Gluttony Gods' Powers
Goodness Honesty
Life Love
Marriage Miscellaneous
Money Morality
Patience Personality
Piety Pride
Prostitutes Science
Sex Superficiality
War and Peace Wealth
Wickedness Wisdom
Work Xenophobia

Pray, do tell ...